Since I have a novella releasing next month and a book releasing in May, I’m going to do some shameless self-promotion. You can expect more of the same from me next time, too.
I thought I’d discuss Ten Ways You Can End Up In One Of My Demon Outlaw Novels.
At parties or social gatherings, if people find out I write, I’m usually asked one of two questions—sometimes, both.
“Where do you come up with story ideas?” and my favorite, “Am I going to end up in one of your novels?”
I write paranormal romance, urban fantasy, and fantasy, so the answer to the first question is really quite simple. I read a lot, both fiction and non-fiction, and I have an overactive imagination. A degree in social anthropology helps.
All I do is take a piece of information and then I make s!#t up. To me, it’s fairly straightforward.
As for how to end up in one of my novels, that question’s a little trickier. As I said, I write paranormal and fantasy. You’d have to lead an unusual and interesting lifestyle to end up in one of my stories. I’m sorry, but getting drunk at a party isn’t all that out -of-the-ordinary. Funny as hell sometimes, but not really book-worthy unless you’re a crack smoking mayor of Toronto and I’ve got that one in the works.
Therefore, I’ve compiled a list of things the true attention-seeker desperate to become an integral part of my next plotting session can do. If you’ve accomplished any of the following feats, I truly wish to hear from you. (As will the National Enquirer, People, and Us magazines.)
So here they are:
1. Become a demon hunter—or better yet, a demon
Women love, love, love reading about men who are “larger than life. As an FYI, however, in real life demons and demon hunters don’t seem to attract as large a following as one might expect.
2. Travel to the demon boundary and live to tell about it
If you can survive this vacation, you are most definitely going to end up in my novel.
3. Make becoming an assassin seem like an honorable career choice
I’m not sure why this is frowned on in our society. It just needs to be a better managed program. Maybe we could have a voting system as to who should drink poison. Didn’t the ancient Greeks do something like this?
4. Cut off all access to the outside world and name yourself ruler
That didn’t work out so well for a few world leaders so maybe approach that one with caution.
5. Build an entire world that runs on magic
And when I say build, I mean that. Literally.
6. Destroy an entire world that has become a battleground for immortals—in fact, be one of the occupying immortals
While being immortal sounds attractive, I’d like to point out that it rarely turns out well for characters in stories. It makes them the targets of mortals who want to prove they aren’t invincible, or of other immortals who want to cut off their heads and claim their abilities. I doubt if they get much sleep. I’d only consider this if I were an insomniac. And destroying the world would seem counter-productive to immortals with common sense. Where are they supposed to live? Who are they going to terrorize? But I guess being an immortal means you really don’t have to be good at planning ahead.
7. Become a goddess’s boy-toy
This one sounds like a lot of fun if you’re a guy. Apparently, however, some guys have weird self-esteem issues over this one. Not my heroes. They’re comfortable in their masculinity.
8. Be able to cross deserts and climb mountains without proper survival gear
Let’s face it. Main characters in fiction are rarely well-prepared for wilderness survival, and yet they always seem to make it. If you can do this, you are most definitely story material.
9. Be able to shift into a cross between Hell-Boy and the Hulk
At first, you might not think this is sexy. But trust me, it is. Very much so.
10. Walk through demon fire—without protective fire-fighting gear
Unless it’s part of your anatomy, Firefighters need not apply. If you’re impervious to demon fire, however, I’m interested.
This isn’t an exclusive list by any means. And of course, I’m always willing to talk about writing. Therefore, if I meet you at a party and you have an awesome supernatural ability, or an evil tendency to take over worlds, please feel free to discuss it with me.
I will gladly put you in my next Demon Outlaws novel.
